Shidduch dating site
These women, professional dismiss their unmarried charges after the interviews, then huddle together in a dark room lined with ancient religious texts.
Speaking in a mixture of English, Yiddish, and Hebrew, they rifle through their notes, searching for matches.
(Dena is not her real name—she feared reprisals from men and matchmakers alike). I don’t want to see that picture.’”Aliza, 31, described an almost factory-like approach by some .
When she asked why men kept rejecting her, the matchmaker replied, “Maybe you should go to the gym a little bit more.”Sharon, an Orthodox 40-year-old from the Midwest (also not her real name), told me that another matchmaker insisted they become Facebook friends, and then went through her online photos, deleting ones she didn’t like. She recalls going to an event with another panel of matchmakers in Brooklyn. “One had a binder, one has notecards, one has a computer.
Black-hatted men and “modestly” dressed women come to them, some young, others less so, all single.No one goes to the movies anymore.” Acting out isn’t worth it if it might cost you—or a sibling, a cousin, or a child—a match.Strict conformity and a sense of being observed and judged has become par for the dating course.More stark, although perhaps inevitable, is how the crisis empowers the already powerful.“The men have gotten pickier,” said one male matchmaker, who didn’t want his named used (“I have kids to marry off”).
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Matchmakers have not always responded to the crisis with equanimity.